


snake

by thethrillof



Category: Secret of Kells (2009)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-06
Updated: 2013-09-06
Packaged: 2017-12-25 19:39:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/956876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thethrillof/pseuds/thethrillof





	snake

  
Curled beneath his blankets, the Abbot tried to sleep.

He was so tired. His entire body ached, and where the arrowhead used to be throbbed with the cold.

He couldn't die. He had people left to live for, didn't he? Even if it was only a handful. He had to.

Something inside him whispered like scales over ground, _no. You deserve to._ Or, worse, _then you can see Brendan and Aidan again. Just give up._

He was so tired.

He clutched Brendan's paper in his hands, looking at it every few minutes. There were already creases from how often he had folded it and unfolded it. It was so beautiful, he felt like he would fall inside it.

Maybe he would.

No. He was the Abbot of Kells. He had to live, to direct the people, to rebuild.

Even though he had failed as Abbot before. Even though he had failed as Aidan's old friend and Brother. Even though he had failed as Uncle Cellach.

He was so tired.

Perhaps that was his punishment--he had to live. He had to live with the guilt and the pain and everything that he had failed to do.

He felt self-loathing and exhaustion coil around him. He didn't want to. He didn't want to do anything.

These thoughts circled around in his head until they felt like a physical weight on his chest, crushing the air from his lungs.

His eyes didn't shut that night. They barely would in the days, weeks, months following, even as spring came and it was time to rebuild. When it did, he would work the hardest, as if trying to build everything on his own.

He would always be tired. It slithered bone-deep and settled inside.

(Some would wonder if he wasn't going to kill himself from sheer exhaustion, but none would ask him to stop.)


End file.
